Double-Decker Response
I would like to add my thoughts to this dialog with the understanding that we have never met and by no means do I mean you any harm or bad feelings.
I went through a similar phase some time ago and came to the realization that was afraid to break out of my self imposed comfort zone.
I grew quite attached to having a cretain amount of struggle in my life in many areas. It allowed me to be a martyr of sorts. I could give wonderful speeches about how tough the world was and how I was fighting back with all my might. I grew to love the conflicting issues in my life - and never took the time to accept the fact that I was where I was because of MY decision to stay there.
Trading well and having some financial success from it could make many of these self imposed ills go away. If these issues were to suddenly vanish I could no longer be the "warrior" I convinced my self I was and my self imposed comfort zone (which was actually very UNcomfortable) would be gone. If the struggles in my life were gone what would I do with myself? I honestly didn't know! I had never tried to really see myself in a stress free existance and embrace the freedom it provided.
At some point I had to decide how I wanted to REALLY LIVE and ask my self if my current course of action would get me there.
I realized that I had to move in a new direction and create NEW comfort zones if I wanted my life to change. That's when trading took on a new importance in my life.
I stopped loking at the "pie in the sky" returns many of the book/course sellers entice you with and began to ask if I could take small steps to get myself in tune with the market and work for consistancy rather than occaisonal big wins.
I took a small household bill and made it a sort of game to see if i could just pay that one bill via my trading efforts. It didn't require a large amount of pips bit it did require that spend the time needed with the charts to make the pips necessary. It gave me the needed focus without the added stress of of thinking that I "had" to succeed. If I didn't make the pips needed my light bill would have been paid anyway.
What it did was give me a sort of interesting hobby that I felt had the possibility of turning into something really big.
As time went on my trading (and sttitude) got better and now I am trading fulltime and having fun doing it.
Decide to change
Let go of your need to have self imposed pain and conflict. Every second of your life is an oppourtunity to decide how you want to live that day. Choose the things that ring true to you.
Don't surrender your dream without a fight. And I mean a knock down drag out spitting, biting, kicking head punching affair. Your future will depend on you willingness to defend you goals. You don't have to give up being the warrior I mentioned in the beginning - you just have to give him something REAL and MEANINFUL to go to war for.
Your dreams and goals as a trader would be a great place to start.
Take small steps - you didn't get into this mess overnight - don't expect to get out overnight.
Look at it as an experiment rather than a do or die situation.
Change your beliefs about the market.
The market will absolutely give you whatever YOU believe it will. Become friends with the market and you'll see what I mean.
I hope this helps and I wish you well.
